It’s the beginning of a brand new year, and with that comes the ever looming question over our shoulders as to what our new year’s resolutions are going to be.
What is our biggest goal for the next 12 months? What are we going to do differently? Are we going to eat healthier, exercise more? Where are we going to travel to? How are we going to achieve even more than before? Can we improve our careers? finances? social life? relationships?
The list is endless.
There seems to be an increasing amount of pressure to be seen to be doing more and more with our lives at an even faster pace. We are bombarded with the media showing us the lives of others and how proactive they are with their ambitions, seemingly improving themselves every single time they appear. If not, then we are judging others for their shortfalls, you know, all those unwanted qualities that we are subconsciously (or maybe consciously) made to believe mean that that person is not doing well.
Due to the world rapidly becoming even more instantaneous, there is a higher expectation to achieve the greatest results in the shortest space of time possible. Sadly, it’s what we have started to grow accustomed to thanks to technological advances, growing markets, and social media. So its no wonder so many of us feel the overwhelming sense of guilt that we aren’t moving fast enough towards the things we are aiming for.
Yet NOTHING needs to change simply because we have had to buy a new calendar.
In fact, does anything have to change to ‘fit in’ with society’s norms if we are genuinely content and happy with the way things are?
Change happens when YOU yourself are truly ready to make those steps towards it.
Personally, I am so far behind where I am ‘supposed to be’ in my life because my brain decided it was time to increase the amount of craziness I had that was already pretty evident. For five years I fought a long and tiresome battle with mental health, which thankfully, all that strength and bravery has got me through the worst of times.
However, even to this day, I keep beating myself up for not being where I ought to be right now. At 24, I wanted to be living in my own place, having gone to college then university and graduated with everyone else my age. I hope I would be maintaining a fantastic social life, to be in a long-term relationship, always planning travel to different parts of the world. I saw myself being in a great career that held so many prospects, knowing that I could start to think about when I am going to settle down and have a family.
Yet, here I am, in my second year of university and living at home, no job, meaning I am not traveling to here there and everywhere, not able to afford the latest trends, and struggling to keep up a strong social life. Even though I am blessed such a remarkable family and unbelievable boyfriend, I fear that I am not able to put in enough effort to make them feel as loved as much as they deserve.
Do not get me wrong, things are not all doom and gloom all the time for me. I am more grateful for the love that surrounds me than ever before, and I am aware of many other things I have to be thankful for. But sometimes these raw and painful thoughts about how things have turned out, rear their ugly heads to push me down.
Life gives us shit. Real shit.
It does a really good job of catching you by surprise and throwing you right off the face of the earth, leaving you lost, confused and hopeless to find your way back.
But it doesn’t mean that we will not achieve the things we wish for the most in life.
Through the hardships, we gain the strongest lessons, the greatest knowledge of ourselves and build on the experiences with more courage to succeed at what we hope for, all in our own wonderful and unique ways.
There is no right path in life. Each one that is lived is one that cannot be replicated or compared. Our quality of life is defined by following what we truly desire, lead by our heart through every decision, in every thought, every feeling, and every moment.
So rather than ‘going with the flow’ maybe its time to break out of the cycle and tune into you. Ask yourself what is it that you are searching for and what are you doing about it. Look not to compare yourself but improve yourself at your own pace. The time will come when it will fall into place for you, just takes a little faith and belief in who you are.