February, a month dedicated to the most desirable thing in this world; love. Though, from a commercial point of view, it has just become such a money making scheme that in some respects, Valentine’s starts to lose its true meaning.
Actually during Roman times, “ when Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death” – history.com
Not so romantic now. But at least you can see where it’s origins really come from!
But unlike back then, there is no hiding away from the fact that Valentine’s Day is tomorrow (if you didn’t know already, where on Earth have you been?!) because nearly every single retailer, company or brand has been promoting themselves through the medium of love. Which in my opinion it has made this whole thing a money making scheme and that in some respects, Valentine’s starts to lose its true meaning.
But lets back on to the topic of the big day itself. Valentine’s day; a whole day created to express how deeply in love you are with your soul mate. You give the most generous and thoughtful gifts, write your devoted messages to your partner declaring how much they mean to you and then you share that adorable ‘couple selfie’ for all of your friends and family to see. In a world that is filled with so much hatred, it is days like these that human nature really does shine its brightest, because, amongst it all, there is always love.
However, there is a major pressure to be in a relationship because we are all forced into believing that this is your sole purpose in life, especially if you are a woman (no offence guys but surely back me up on this).
Now, this is not an attempt to banish anyone who is in a relationship and celebrating this time together, as I think it is important that people do show their love to another. However, for those who aren’t loved-up (like myself) then we need to think of other ways of seeing this occasion.
So if you find yourself single on valentines, it feels even more of a ‘problem’ than before, because how can you celebrate with no one to share a two-for-ten meal deal with?!
Well, considering I am going to be single pringle during the lovely dovey occasion, I wanted to share with you all just how I intend to handle those thoughts being on my own.
Instead of making myself feel lonely and unloved because I am not with someone, I am going to think about other kinds of love. There is not just one form of love that we have, we have it for our family, our friends and most importantly the love we have for ourselves.
There is something irreplaceable about family, however, and whoever you class family as. That unbreakable bond you have with you all is unlike anything else. The love those people in your family give you, moulds you into the person you are and has given you the foundations to seek out all that you long to do for yourself. So give a moment or two to think fondly of your family members, be thankful for having them in your life and let them know just how much they mean to you.
Another unbreakable relationship is that between you and your dearest friends. These are the people that you can tell absolutely anything to, and yet they still want to be there for you. They share the craziest of memories with you and spend countless hours listening to all your problems and try to help you out where they can. In a way, these people become an extension of your family, because you would do anything for them and will always love them just for being themselves. Celebrate that special connection you have with your ‘sister from another mister’ or your ‘brother from another mother’ and tell them that they are always valued to you.
Of course, I will not deny it would be wonderful to have a man in my life who makes me feel like the sun is always shining and makes me feel like a beautiful person in every way possible. But it isn’t the only way I can be happy. In order for someone to love me, I have to be content with who I really am, flaws and all. Once I learnt that I had to love myself before anyone else could come close to me, everything started to piece together. All that I had wanted to happen in life after losing so much was slowly starting to happen and I have never been more at peace with myself.
As you grow to find that love for the real you, there is an undeniable difference in how much more confident you are in achieving the things you want to, standing by what you believe in and what is right for you, and those are in themselves attractive qualities to have. Maybe for this Valentine’s you can join me in being grateful for all the wonderful things that you possess. Give yourself something special because you deserve it (I bought myself some flowers and not ashamed to admit it!).
So singletons, don’t shy away from all this romance, embrace it in your own unique way! Spread the love in any way you can, be happy with all amazing people you have around you, and open your heart up to yourself.
Happy Valentine’s Day