Throughout my entire life, there has been one core belief, that has influenced the view I have of myself. It was not known to me until I got to such a terrible point with my health, that it even existed. Sure I was aware of my insecurities (hell ask any teenage girl about that) but it never occurred to me how deep it actually went. But with thanks to CBT, I was able to finally uncover what controls my most inner workings of my mind. No matter what life domain you are very likely to hear me say that:
“I’m not good enough”
It took years of extreme torment and self-neglect to reach a point where by I could accept that this belief is not okay. That it is detrimenting my health and wellbeing. Having such a negative opinion and belief about myself, caused such devastating effects to my life. It has held me back in more ways than I care to mention. It left me isolated, alone and terrified of others. I compared my whole life and being to that of others all because I saw nothing ‘good enough’ about who I was.
The reason all of this has came to the forefront of my attention, is because of a statement that came from a really unlikely source.
If you follow me on twitter, instagram or snapchat, you will know just how obsessed I am with ‘The Great British Bake Off‘ (after all I am a blogger who loves to bake). So obviously this Wednesday evening, I sat down and watched the very last final to air on the BBC, which I am SO upset about, but we will leave that for another day. It was such an incredible competition between the three finalists, but my favourite baker throughout, Candice, certainly stepped up to the game and became the winner for 2016. She was completely shocked to hear her name as Mel announced the winner. But what left me feeling so heartbroken was what she said as she was battling the tears away…
“I saw, and I wished and hoped it was okay. But you just don’t know…”
“I did it! I’m good, I’m good enough”
This hit me right in the heart. It was like hearing myself through someone else.
Instantly, my thoughts turned to how much Candice must undervalue herself, and to what affect has that had on her life so far? So many of you will be like Candice. Totally unaware of how low your self-competence is and how hard that makes it to believe in yourself. We are forced into seeing ourselves in a negative light. Never giving your complete and undivided attention to your positive assets.
Self-competence is our opinion or belief of how capable we are at different things. So if you are constantly undermining your abilities to achieve what you are setting out to achieve, pushing yourself to the extremes to be the ‘best’ there is, or that you compare your outcomes to others, seeing theirs as greater than your own, then that will have a huge effect on your level of self-esteem.
Yet, for Candice, proof was literally in the pudding (clever baking pun). Her hard work, passion and love for what she was doing, triumphed, which led to her being crowned the winner.
Now I am not saying that you need to win something in order to see that you are ‘good enough’ far from it. Personally, I believe that you need to start re-evaluating the opinion you hold of yourself. Begin to understand WHY you feel the way you do about yourself. You will most likely find out that the underline reason, has influenced this believe about yourself and the way you appear.
What ever you pursuits in life. What ever you dream. Where ever you may be at right here, right now, know and believe you are more than good enough. Nothing needs to be changed or altered in any way for you to reach those ambitions you are set to achieve.
Repeat after me, “I am…
and I promise to learn to believe more in myself”
Love to all of you, hope this was helpful