In recent weeks, it has occurred to me that there is so much of my life that I must work really hard to build on. Given the nature of the illnesses I have suffered from, every area of my world was destroyed and vanished before I even had chance to say goodbye. Though now I am stronger than ever before, it still remains the case that a for-filling life is not quite there yet.
It was so simple back then, I was content with merely existing with the restrictive control and self-destructive behaviour, that I thought was the right thing to do. Nothing ever felt different, as it was a constant circle of despair, hatred, hopelessness and isolation that soon became the norm. As we all know, anything outside the ordinary becomes a frightening prospect.
Though, it isn’t what you really want. Nobody wants to feel that way. It is an unpleasant feeling that give no hope that anything wonderful can ever be yours to experience. Since watching ‘Hector and the Search for Happiness‘ I have been captivated by this pursuit of a bigger sensation in life, and that is happiness.
Definition of happiness in English: [Noun] The state of being happy (Oxford Dictionaries Online)
As human beings, we all seek happiness, and it comes in a variety of different forms. Each individual will have a different take on what it means to truly be in ‘the state of being happy’, though this is where the problems start to arise. The pressures that western society puts us under to have this ‘ideal state of happiness’ that involves everything being verging on perfect and tangible. But is that really what makes us happy?
Hector embarks on a journey across the world to discover what makes everyone happy. He mets a diverse range of people who all have a different take on what happiness really is. But it wasn’t other people’s idea of happiness that he was really on the search for. It was his own. Hector was so swept up in his way of living that he had no idea of how to be truly happy himself. He had a solid and well paid job, a loving girlfriend and a wonderful apartment in London. Yet he was not happy.
It is so easy to become emerged in this pursuit of happiness, that we really don’t give ourselves enough credit for what we already have, whether that is within us or around us. Not placing value on the most important things is a very common occurrence in todays world. There is always something else that we could have, do or even be. Chasing happiness does not make it easy to maintain a good balance. For so long, I looked at each and every way possible to discover happiness again. I needed something or someone to save me and show me how to be happy again. When I really decided to recover, I had this frame made up (below) especially for me, as a reminder every day.
For me, happiness is being able to appreciate who you are, inside and out, following your hearts desires and being surrounded by love. Materialistic things don’t do enough for me, especially not anymore. Life experiences teach you many things, but personally, the main one is that you cannot put a price on emotions. Emotions are immensely powerful, and have the ability to influence your actions in more ways than you realise.
Having finally accepted that I am worthy of being happy for who I am, has opened doors that have been barricaded off for years. Opportunities come more frequently to do the things I once dreamt of doing, people are more engaging and encouraging of my character. It wasn’t until I was able to appreciate and love myself, that I felt happy. I was able to slowly let go of the controlling elements of my illness and spread my wings. No matter who comes in and out of my life, I must be able to be happy just as I am.
Love is a mysteriously wonderful thing, and it gives life a beautiful meaning. There is all types of love, and all of which play apart in are ideal of happiness. The biggest pressure of all, I find, is to have a partner who you share your life with. Of course I hope to met someone, fall in love, and spend my life with him. I even hope to have children one day. But this love thing, it all begins from within. You can not love another unless you first love yourself. A hard lesson to learn, but one that releases you into the world and sets you free to embrace everything you wish to.
Chasing or pursuing happiness is not the message you need to follow, nor are we all entitled to be happy. We are all obliged to be happy.
Don’t get caught up in others ideals, just focus on your own path. Follow your dreams, go with your heart desires, be with those who bring out the best in yourself, but ultimately see that you are capable of being happy, no matter where you are currently at. We all hold the key to our own happiness, you just have to explore deeper into your mind to unlock the door.
What is your idea of happiness?