Perfection is a Disease

Been a long while since I have last had chance to take the time to write out what I am thinking. You would question “surely you have had some time to do this?” and you would be right, but the thing is it that my mind has been so consumed with the pursuits of this forever demanding world.
With home life not being the greatest environment to be recovering in right now, I have the daily tasks of keeping myself focused and determined not to be swayed by the negative actions going on around me. This is not easy, so I have been channeling my energy into something more productive for my overall well-being. As a consequence I push myself and give everything to researching, planning and working hard to make my body and healthier. Though most would assume this is such a great way to change my attitudes to what I am going through. But they would be wrong. It has so many down sides, that can have (or have had) serious knock on affects.

Recently, I have discovered that finding who I am, how to fuel, how to keep fit, what I want to become, how to balance my day as well as starting back with my education, all very overwhelming. It has got to point where the days can mould into one. Nothing is more important to me right now than getting my life back on track after over four years of deprivation, however, at what cost will this drive to get back to who I want to be, do to me?

Since the last post, I have been searching nearly every day to find out more and more about what I need to do to be the healthiest I can be, especially since discovering I have a gluten intolerance. Following other blogs, instagram accounts, videos, and now podcasts has taken over my spare time. How is that healthy? Sure looking into improving yourself is of huge benefit, but that can be taken to extremes. For someone with a vulnerable mind, I should always be cautious of falling into these obsessive traps that having a mental illness can have.

One of the most influential people along my journey happens to be someone who I am sure you will know. Beyoncé is the greatest artist to grace this Earth with her sensational voice, and beautiful soul. She often speaks out about how we are emphasising the need to be the best person you can possibly be in all areas. That the growing trend to look a certain way, eat a certain way, act a certain way is controlling our unique beings, and depriving the world of someone who can create an impact that another couldn’t. She has wrote many lyrics turning to this message that society has gone to far and we need to recognise and believe in who we were born to be. Beyoncé’s recent album entitled ‘Beyoncé’ features one those songs that has a extremely strong impact on you.

‘Pretty Hurts’

Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst
Perfection is a disease of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts
Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst
We try to fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see
It’s the soul that needs the surgery

Beyonce Concert 2014

When I heard this for the first time, it triggered this ambition to embrace who I really am. The lyrics speak for themselves. There isn’t much that I can say to emphasise what Beyoncé has wrote. We as a nation, and as part of the human race, need to stop being so judgemental on our aesthetics and come back to the core of what makes us happy. Achievements are only felt as rewards when they are what we seek to pursue for true happiness, not to fill the ‘perfection form’.

As I have learnt so much from having an eating disorder and severe depression, I will never try to fit the mould. There are qualities that I may have to offer that have yet to be uncovered through leading my life the way I dream of. Compressing who you are meant to be is detriment to your soul and you can not have the real happiness you are deserving of.

Take note, and reschedule your priorities to work around what really makes you smile.


2 thoughts on “Perfection is a Disease

  1. This is a great post. Perfectionism is crippling and destructive, and it will never make you happy because it doesn’t exist, therefore you will always be chasing it. I also think that we have to be careful when looking for ways to be ‘healthy’ because it can become just as obsessive and unhealthy as anorexia can, so it’s great that you’re able to acknowledge this. Being healthy is being able to eat what you want, when you want – whether that be a salad or chocolate bar. It’s about being free to make the choice and giving your body what it wants xx

    1. Completely second what you have said Sam. Society today has built up a brigade of people who are searching for the ideal life every single day. This is neither healthy or helpful to themselves. We all need to allow ourselves to embrace what we need and also what we desire from time to time. Life has much more meaning to it when you allow the enjoyment in, wherever that is sourced x

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